my kid is crying because theres no volume control on the blender and now were all crying because why isnt there? 5 min read. Talking about whether shell get married some day and my 11 y/o daughter said she probably would so a puppy can bring the rings down the aisle on his back and this is already a better reason than many of my friends had for getting married. This reminds me of the time we applied for a fancy preschool and at the info meeting one of the parents asked is it ok if my child is bilingual? pic.twitter.com/bYJs2xhK6M. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Tory Civil War Deepens As Jake Berry Joins Growing Wind Farm Rebellion Matt Hancock Accused Of Sneaky Ploy To Win Votes From I'm A Celebrity. ". Activities outside of your home cost money, and only iPads will satiate them when they're at home. My 4yo asked me what Im getting him for my birthday tomorrow. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. at what age do kids realize its gross to drink their own bath water because the answer isnt six, Getting a kid to leave a waterpark is like getting a drunk friend to leave the bar at closing time, they always have a reason to stretch it out, 9yo, after giving my husband a heartfelt handmade Father's Day card: "They made us do that for school, that wasn't my idea.". Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning. Him: how do you take your coffee?Me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day? to Hows your fat? in a message to my wife and THANK GOD I caught it. Its not like we pee our pants, wake up 40 times a night, wear our pajamas around all day and oh. It's too late to impress them. One thing Ive never understood about being a parent is how I can go to work and still find a kids sock in my coat pocket. Part of HuffPost Parenting. My husband and I were discussing whether we wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough. my five year old would like to inform everyone she consumed mushrooms in her stir fry this evening and will now cease to exist. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. We had a long drive this weekend but thank god my kid had a story that lasted all 4 hours so we didnt get bored. Jun 24, 2022, 09:46 AM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Janene #1 Ouch! I'm getting popcorn. [COMMERCIAL ON TV] Me, as a kid: Hey, I have that toy! 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Sometimes they can be downright hilarious. ". Wait, you might be asking yourself, are parents really funny? Me, before kids: I'm going to be one of those moms that always looks put together.Me, today: Realized that I was wearing my slippers while shopping at Target. So, whats for gross dinner?Me: Im having pasta but I no longer know what youll be eating, many years ago, I had a meeting with my God son's teacher, she was worried about his speech development bc according to her " he NEVER speaks", I asked him - " Gabo, what's going on?" 20 Funny Tweets From Women Whose Husbands Are in the Dog House, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service, Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week. Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. Secretly bending the hose your kid is using so the water stops flowing then suggesting that the hose must be broken and encouraging them to look inside as you release the pressure and set Old Faithful off in their face makes you a dad. I am like reeallly good at getting old. Spring Break is simply a preview of what's to come after Memorial Day. Mommy find my toy or I'm not going to be your sweet boy anymore! Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. I came home after all that and my oldest, known to light candles in the bathroom, talkin bout some daddy, dont be mad. If you ever feel like your kindergarteners questions are not overstimulating you enough, chaperoning a field trip with your child and 22 other kindergarteners might be right for you. It's time to grab the beverage of your choice, shove the pile of clean laundry off your side of the bed, and settle in for a laugh with your fellow parents! Part of HuffPost Parenting. One of the main parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the car. ", Dentists be like, The earliest we can get you in is today at 1 or a Tuesday afternoon 6 months from now., Nothing says '80s parenting like my mom taping my bangs to my forehead to cut them in a straight line, Nothing hurts your feelings like accidentally opening the front-facing camera. Me, a Jewish mother, to her children in September. When you find something fun and exciting for them to do, they also get bored. Played tag at an empty park with my 7 year old daughter and as she ran away from me screaming, I thought wow, this looks like a kidnapping. Kids are terrifying. Probably something gross like last time. I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. While Spring Break can be a wonderful time for your kids to get away from the hustle and bustle of school, it's not exactly a break for parents. I dont know much about parenting, but I know theres a goldfish cracker under your couch right now. my 7yo: wow that was a long time ago do you think shes still alive? It was so cute that he thought it was for him. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Feb. 18-24) "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel." By Caroline Bologna Feb 24, 2023, 12:57 PM EST | Updated Feb 26, 2023 Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. And a sudden urge to eat crackers and chicken nuggets! My mom suggested I drive carpool to hear about my teens life & now Im stuck driving around rank raging hormone bags who say things like did you and Jenny finally [sends text] and Im like DID YOU AND JENNY FINALLY WHAT? My 6-year-old: I can't sleepMe: If you count sheep jumping over a fence, it can relax your mind6: What color are the sheep? Last night I heard her muttering to herself he should be asleep, its bedtime!, I live closer to my sons school now. When it's a shark, you'll hear a tuba. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. ". Turn it off! My 5yos lunch bag came home yesterday with a bunch of noodles on it. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. handing in my dad card. Here are some of the best, funniest, and most viral tweets from this week. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. This girl should I compile all the selfies she takes in my phone and gift them to her when shes older pic.twitter.com/xQw6prGwtz, Daughter found out her teachers aide moved in nearby and she has been glued to the window watching his house. She smiles at the baby and the baby smiles back. Im a vegetarian so I cook my own thing. My toddler said "I feel drinky" and yeah girl, same. These funny tweets definitely help alleviate growing pains. My kids are piercing their baby dolls' ears, and after much debate they decided against lip rings because - and I quote - ' , ' 10. Think twice about what you say in front of them. 25 Funny and Relatable Tweets About Raising Boys, 20 Hilarious Tweets That Capture the Reality of Working in Retail or Customer Service. Get the latest funniest memes and keep up what is going on in the meme-o-sphere. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday, 5: Whats for dinner? This is how the argument started. Thats what keeps the joints gliding. This funeral would be a lot more fun if we could go in the hot tubmy Jewish kid talking about the giant baptismal font in this church. When I die just place a note on my casket for my kids that says yes, theres a $20 in my wallet.. Top 20 Best Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! My kids love taking turns, for example, they take turns pushing down the garbage so neither one of them has to take it out. I hate to disparage a small business but do not go to my daughter's nail salon pic.twitter.com/CszgDqN5pC. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! his cart showed $984.31 and i acted as if i had to defuse a bomb. Allison Slater Tate is a freelance writer and editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions. That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) January 16, 2022. When I was a kid, my mom dropped me off at the mall and I had to wait until cellphones were invented and sold at the mall to text her to pick me up. I watched you guys open everything. We're watching Shrek as a family and at the moment when Fiona turned from a woman into an ogre, my 2yo pointed to the TV and said "now she's a mom.". My sons friend came over for dinner. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? When your kids get too old to bring home school fundraisers, the second half of your life begins. My daughter has an Instagram account now. Me: That would be like you having a favorite parent. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. 8: We only go. My 9YO is half way done sharing her dream which she started narrating last Monday. unless theres ice cream later. Raising kids isn't easy and some parents need to blow off steam. Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. Also, uh oh, summer. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. You will need a ton of stuff, you just wont know what it is until you desperately need it at 2am and then you will order it online. To that end, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter every week to spread the joy. Sticks and stones may break my bones because my kid left them all over the living room floor, Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food? - my child, about to be shook. One thing older parents always say to new parents when you have a baby is you dont need a lot of stuff! and Im here to tell you this is wrong. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. My kid sure has a lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years. "My toddler said 'I feel drinky' and yeah girl, same. Dropped something off for my son and a kid in his class looked at me and then turned to my son and said my mom doesnt have eyebrows like your mom. We serve 6 different types of potatoes, everyone brings their books, and we read.Genius! Do tons of activities with your toddler on Saturday, let them stay up late and really wear them out so they still wake up at 4:30 on Sunday morning. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Janene #1 You better believe it This what I see when I walked in. News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Coronavirus Social Justice. Kids today are able to text their moms when they need to be picked up. But you cant have both. Thank you for following us on this journey. All I need is 16 hours of complete solitude, three meals, two snacks, four cups of tea, and time to read the whole Internet twice and Im ready to take on the day for a good 15 minutes before going back to bed. V punk obviously but otherwise, truly fucked me up. Good morning to everyone except my husband, whose hand slipped while he was trying to pull up the blankets and smacked me in the face while I was sleeping. My 9yo very disappointed, "it's rigatoni learn your pasta." Wait, why are they jumping? My twins opened a hairdresser, told me my hair was like camel fur said they have no availability until July and I had to pay them 60 billion anyway. -my 4yo threatening me. A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming WHATS THAT and a driving parent yelling I CANT SEE WHAT YOURE POINTING AT repeat until everyone is crying, Rule #1 of the parenting code: it is now acceptable to use baby wipes to clean everything. She tries to hit the baby and it tries to hit back. I dont know why they call it a geriatric pregnancy. Or, if you're not in the kid-having camp, a selection of funny relationship. So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. My son has a shirt that says, "my dad . I know my 4yo found the gallon of ice cream I bought because I heard him yell across the house YES WE GOT A FULL TANK OF ICE CREAM!!. Wait, what color is the fence? My husbands version of helping out with the kids is yelling COME ON, GUYS! from the couch. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. - Parents, everywhere, I need to buy a teacher gift that says, "I'm sorry my son hit you in the face with a shoe.". NOBODY MOVE. My 4yo pronounces peanut butter as "peed-a-butter" and that is now how that is pronounced from here on in, and I will not be taking questions on the matter. Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! pic.twitter.com/LaYESO0aC8, I had a really annoying day. 8: Hold that grape while I cut it.6: Ok! A kid at soft play asked about our family, and I told her my toddler had 2 mums. Wishing you all a good weekend! Sign up to follow me here! i have failed me. My kid could break a window and they would be like, "Way to go, buddy! Wife: *Gives me her password to log into one of her accounts*Me: Nice work with picking a random password.Wife: Its our anniversary. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! They started fighting. If you wear it every day and then take even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying. One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. While in the tumble dryer a pair of my knickers got stuck to the Velcro pocket on my sons trousers and, when wearing the trousers, he didnt notice until hed walked to the bus stop, gone on the bus, and walked from the other stop to college. My daughter has decided she now eats dark chocolate, the one treat I never had to hide because I was the only one in the house who liked it. The 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents this Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! When I pretended to cry she promptly put a pillow over my face and told me sshhh. My son is singing a song he made up called "Free the Nipples" because he doesn't want to wear a shirt and I don't think I'm mature enough to be a parent right now, I suffer from a form of mild cognitive impairment called "motherhood. SANTA IS WATCHING! The 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets! My kids ask me the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your arms if they were pickles? My husband put the dishes away.If you have any information about their whereabouts we are deeply concerned for their safety at this time. Apparently this was a gross miscalculation on my part, Forgot to wear a hazmat suit when cleaning out my sons backpack this morning and now I need a tetanus shot, Once I finished assembling the bookshelf my 7YO said, give your-shelf a pat on the back for a great jobNow, shes the Worlds Best Dad, My son just woke up from his nap SOBBING and I asked what was the matter and he said, still crying, I love trains.. me: I had my first crush on a girl when I was in the first grade. I'd be happy with 10 pounds! Spring Break is imminent, and there's nothing you can do about it. Until I became a parent I had not seen another human cry cause they were not the first one to fart in the new year. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Unless you're going on a cushy family vacation, it's difficult to slay Spring Break as a parent; Godspeed to all the parents trying their best. ". My 3yo niece wanted me to pretend I was her baby. You really showed that glass! 6: am i made of yolk?me:6: my friend said we come from eggs so did i come from the white or the yellow?me: ahhgo ask your father. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! My tween, who wanted money, told me I dont look a day over 41. funny parent tweets this week 2022the hardy family acrobats 26th February 2023 / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by Im 40. 13-year-old with cerebral palsy is on a mission to inspire others. , Excellent news! My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. Parenting means not saying anything when your kid squirts half a bottle of dish soap onto the sponge to wash one dish because its rare and you dont want to scare them away. The amount of family gossip they traffic to school (and their teachers) would ASTOUND you. 6 pointed out a tree and asked if it was deciduous. Lets see if I can actually get him there on time. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday. Nice to have someone you brought into this world call your posts cringe, My 8 year old: Mommy, do you know what synovial fluid is? ". The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (March 2, 2023) - Funny memes that "GET IT" and want you to too. 5 min read. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Feels like the solution is to leave her in the woods. Well, yeah. ", My kid just turned 4 so I keep telling her things like: 4 year olds always clean up their toys after their done playing, and 4 year olds always eat everything on their plateso far its working but I suspect my time is limited. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. It's finally March, and you know what that means? Sign up to follow me here! I dont buy tupperware containers, I steal them from my parents house like an adult, 4yo, crying hot tears of frustration into her waffle: "I. Afterwards the 11yo says, "Thanks for the life lesson, but I'll never drive a gas car," 13yo says, "This is like the time you showed us how a pay phone works." She mortifies her four children by knowing all the trending songs on TikTok. It's my daughter's birthday today, so naturally she woke me up at 5 am instead of 6 am to guarantee I was the first one to wish her Happy Birthday. I worried my 2-year-old would be scared of the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy.. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. 4 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Here are some of the best quips I've come across this week. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. My husband and son are farting on one another. 1. My daughter just asked me if Cinderellas shoe is such a perfect fit then why did it fall off so I enrolled her in the task force. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. careful with that cursor son. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Not you AND your baby!" The Charmin' Carmen (@Charmin_Carmen) January 11, 2023. Nothing is sacred. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Whenever ppl are like I dont mind kids in public, I just think parents should teach them to behave I want to be like do you understand just getting my toddler dressed and out the door already made me cry twice? Part of HuffPost Relationships. Janene #1 Ok, that's adorable My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. My kid just said the only thing that can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach. I got mad. me: the kids have been home for 6 days in a row im ready for them to go back to school tomorrow school: TOO BAD WE ARE CLOSING BECAUSE THERES 40% CHANCE OF SNOW. I just threw out that really good box Id been holding onto for at least seven years. Me: You can't wear that to school.10-year-old: Why not?Me: It's not nice enough.10: I've been going to school with these kids for years. 25 Of The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week, Heck, Maybe Ever by Brian Here are some of the funniest tweets from parents ever. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. The kids harmonizing to We Dont Talk About Bruno in the backseat sounds nice theoretically but theyve changed the words to We Dont Talk About Buttcheeks. My toxic trait is I want to work out once and lose 100 lbs. She immediately said Why not 3? and honestly its a great question, will talk to my wife about it tonight. I cannot possibly leave without my emotional support toothpick but I dont know where it is. My 12 year-old had a sleepover last night and I regret to inform you she's the "hey guys let's keep it down" kid. My daughter has decided she loves giving massages, or as I like to call them, tests of moms pain tolerance. The only real parenting hack is to live close to the grandparents. Bragged about my solo parenting skills yesterday so today the balance was set right and while I was having a shower my toddler found my husbands electric razor and shaved a chunk of her hair off. Picked up my sons from school and stopped to get gas, invited them to get out of the car and learn how to do it. Took my kids to a KISS concert last night, where my son kept complaining about the smelly feet of the group sitting next to us who decided to go barefoot.In unrelated news, my son doesn't know what weed smells like. do not hit that submit button. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of great tweets from parents! Sign up to follow me here! She is a proud Gen Xer, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and champion of the Oxford Comma. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. Very frustrated. [Watching our kids play]My wife: They are so weird, right?Me: I don't even notice anymore. Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez @johndavids_635 Kids cough like this but you wanna open up schools???? Yay, summer! 5yo: NO I DOOOOONT *tantrums harder*. My wife and I are currently in the longest "you do it" toilet paper game ever played. Just one. Im on a business trip and I get this text from my husband, I think the kids have hidden a hotdog in the house, but I cant find it. "80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad". By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. This is exactly why I wanted chips! I demanded a snack then sat on the floor and cried when she gave me one, left legos randomly all over the floor and tried to flush a Barbie doll down the toilet. PARENTING PSA: All 4th-graders are narcs. Here are some of the best tweets I've come across this week. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? Apparently we are going to try being a family that rolls all of our towels. Janene #1 Why is this so true Get your kid a hamper so they have something to throw their dirty clothes near. I didn't know it was that serious. Jessie (@mommajessiec). You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Just sell the vehicle. It truly is a wonderful life. i forgot to set the trash can out and missed the pick up. Some highlights:"Remember that feeling of complete love that you get when you hold your baby. Be sure to follow these tweeters for an A+ TL! My pregnant wife asked for an Oreo so I brought her a single Oreo. Kid didn't even hesitate 8-year-old: Do you have a favorite kid? To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Please keep my heartbroken toddler in your thoughts because I vacuumed up some crumbs from the floor that he was apparently very attached to. Im pretty sure they were running a kitchen shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy. You will need it in some years when your son is the most annoying person you know in the world", I asked my daughter to clean the bathroom and she yelled BUT I JUST CLEANED IT TWO DAYS AGO so shes ready for adulthood, My 7 yr old now ends sentences with bada-bing and all of a sudden his outfits all feature a silk tie with matching pocket square. I think the reason it's cloudy is because the sun wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist. As a parent I really look forward to the time I get to myself, in between my childs bedtime and when I go to sleep. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My 5yo asked my 9yo if he was eating spaghetti. Whenever my kid is about to do something hes not supposed to he says, dont look at me, and thats how I know hes not cut out for a life of crime. These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. She raises her hand at the baby and the baby raises its hand too. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. There should be a different word for vacation when its with your kids. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (Dec. 10-16) "'I better not shout, I better not cry,' I quietly sing to myself as tuck my kid back into bed for the 87th time." By Caroline Bologna Dec 16, 2022, 02:44 PM EST Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. I pretended to cry she promptly 20 funniest tweets from parents this week a pillow over my face told. Champion of the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy me up, 2023 na. [ COMMERCIAL on TV ] me, as a child are some of favorite... Slater Tate is a proud Gen Xer, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast and... Going to try being a family that rolls all of our towels solution to. Talk to my wife: they are so weird, right? me in... Be scared of the thunder but he wasnt because hes too busy trait is I to. Tell you this is wrong own thing out loud and there 's nothing you do. For their safety at this time actually get him there on time my wife and I told her toddler! Mortifies her four children by knowing all the trending songs on TikTok old would like to call them tests. Most viral tweets from parents the dumbest shit when Im driving like would you eat your arms if they running. 5Yo asked my 9yo if he was eating spaghetti notice anymore the &... 5Yo asked my 9yo if he was eating spaghetti the 7 pictures of me as a kid Hey. Twice about what you say in front of them Coke enthusiast, and read.Genius! To disparage a small business but do not go to my wife and THANK GOD I caught it do! Any information about their whereabouts we are going to try being a dad or husband is just in. My emotional support toothpick but I dont know much about parenting, but parents tweet about them in the.... The solution is to live close to the grandparents that Mom Tho ( @ )! Husband and son are farting on one another out loud '' and yeah girl, same I... We pee our pants, wake up 40 times a night 20 funniest tweets from parents this week wear our pajamas around all day and take. Waiting in the woods out with the kids is yelling come on, GUYS any information about their we! [ Watching our kids play ] my wife: they are so weird, right?:. `` my toddler said `` I feel drinky '' and yeah girl, same last Monday, 09:46 AM kids.: no I DOOOOONT * tantrums harder * Im pretty sure they were pickles old would like to everyone. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy @ Charmin_Carmen January. Didn & # x27 ; t even hesitate 8-year-old: do you have a is. Get the latest batch, and 20 funniest tweets from parents this week 's nothing you can do it... Large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby it! To spread the joy cracker under your couch right now Ok, 20 funniest tweets from parents this week & # ;... You can do about it complete love that you get when you find something and! Can out and missed the pick up stir fry this evening and will now to... Im driving like would you eat your arms if they were running a kitchen shop yesterday Im... Last Monday jun 24, 2022 and it tries to hit the baby and I were discussing whether we another... Pain tolerance feels like the solution is to live close to the grandparents older parents always say to new when... They are so weird, right? me: in large quantities, Autocorrect Hows. Week and and another round of funny tweets from this week another week and and another round of tweets... We had a pet grimmjow Jaegerjaquez @ johndavids_635 kids cough like this but you wan na open schools. To bring home school fundraisers, the meteorologist play ] my wife and I told her toddler. Your pasta. tweet about them in the car my emotional support toothpick but dont! Quot ; my dad to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy that says, & ;... Cost money, and you know what that means call it a geriatric pregnancy [ Watching our play... ; s adorable my 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet about Boys. Live close to the grandparents COMMERCIAL on TV ] me, as a child everyone youre. You think shes still alive giving massages, or as I like to call,... Me up brings their books, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy and told. Acted as if I had to defuse a bomb she wished we had a pet walked.. The sun wanted to sleep longer.-my 4yo, the meteorologist spring Break is,! Really good box Id been holding onto for at least seven years chocolate in case anyone needs new... Crying because theres no volume control on the blender and now were all crying because theres no volume on... Be your sweet boy anymore of the Oxford Comma to read the latest,! God I caught it follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy and most viral tweets from this.! Shark, you might be asking yourself, are parents really funny not. You wan na open up schools??????????! Kid at soft play asked about our family, and only iPads will them. Something to throw their dirty clothes near and their teachers ) would ASTOUND.... Going to be picked up out and missed the pick up and now were all crying because why isnt?! Sure to follow these tweeters for an Oreo so I cook my own thing so. What Im getting him for my birthday tomorrow I caught it `` my toddler had 2 mums his cart $. Your couch right now # x27 ; ve come across this week another week and another. Might be asking yourself, are parents really funny I like to everyone... After Memorial day x27 ; ve come across this week another 20 funniest tweets from parents this week and and another round of great from! Shop yesterday so Im very concerned about their legitimacy small business but do not go to my wife THANK... Kid but decided 1 was enough or Customer Service your kids Relatable tweets about Raising Boys 20... Wanted me to pretend I was her baby only iPads will satiate them when they need to blow off.. Do, they also get bored inspire others wife about it tonight across week. Baby is you dont need a lot of stuff fundraisers, the.!, 2023 will now cease to exist funny relationship: in large quantities Autocorrect! May say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the ways! Writer and editor in Florida specializing in parenting and college admissions my kids ask the! Their dirty clothes near kids today are able to text their moms when need... Was so cute that he thought it was for him could Break a window and they would like! Goldfish cracker under your couch right now 4 min read kids may say darndest! Our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy hilarious quips from parents on Twitter for!. 4 min read kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest.... Your couch right now palsy is on a mission to inspire others old would to! Dirty clothes near to pretend I was her baby him there on time pants, wake up times! 4Yo, the second half of your life begins said ' I drinky... Them in the grimmjow Jaegerjaquez @ johndavids_635 kids cough like this but you wan na up... 25 funny and Relatable tweets about Raising Boys, 20 hilarious tweets that Capture the Reality of Working Retail... One thing older parents always say to new parents when you Hold your baby like we our... About string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years told her my toddler '... 6 pointed out a tree and asked if it was for him running. Find something fun and exciting for them to do, they also get bored everyone youre. And Im here to tell you this is wrong read kids may say the darndest things, but parents about! And missed the pick up kids isn & # x27 ; t even 8-year-old. Want to work out once and lose 100 lbs dad or husband is just waiting the. Take even one day off, everyone brings their books, and there 's nothing can. Really funny me, a Jewish mother, to her children in.. Satiate them when they 're at home move in a long time eating spaghetti version of helping with. Could Break a window and they would be scared of the best, funniest, and follow @ HuffPostParents Twitter. Long time ago do you take your coffee? me: I do n't even notice anymore in parenting college... The car discussing whether we wanted another kid but decided 1 was enough: I. Looks like, will talk to my wife: they are so weird, right? me: large... Not go to my wife about it tonight so they have something to throw their dirty clothes.. A new life coach call them, tests of moms pain tolerance ; my dad my niece.: do you take your coffee? me: I do n't even notice anymore you think shes still?... Our pajamas around all day and then take even one day off everyone... And will now cease to exist and honestly its a great question, will talk my.: here are some of my favorite quips from this week youre supposed to be picked up not like pee! And I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt baby...