\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. Keep copies of any condescending emails or memos your boss sends to you in case you need them. So if someone's head is within patting reach-perhaps they are much shorter than you, or are sitting in a wheelchair, or an office chair-and you feel the urge to pat coming on, just remove yourself from the situation. While it can be helpful to correct someone occasionally, the employee who is constantly correcting the pronunciation, grammar, and behavior of his colleagues is not needed in the workplace. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. 18 Examples of Leadership Goals. It is very difficult to respond to patronising comments. 5 More than two-thirds (70%) of respondents reported a link between these behaviors and medical errors and poor . Heres How. "I actually like that idea" When you say this, it can land like a patronizing backhanded compliment. Youll hear it from people who make insulting or demeaning comments. Want to Be Happy About Returning to Work? Moreover, not being overly black and white about your judgments will make others perceive you as more reasonable, empathetic, and attuned to nuance - all qualities that make people more receptive to your feedback in the first place. Men might get this sort of response on occasion, but it happens a lot to women. Oftentimes, people act condescending because they're secretly insecure. Frank Blaney. Chances are they haven't actually weighed the likelihood that you do or don't know what they're explaining-they just know that they know it, and that's enough reason for them to expound. 2. Do it in a gentle and respectful way, using "I" statements. 15. If it helps, try practicing what youre going to say in front of a mirror so you can rehearse it. The definition of condescending is to demonstrate feelings of superiority over another person. Men can patronise women at work and vice versa. One major example of the impulsiveness of youth in the play was when Romeo and Juliet got married (856-858) . There are 7 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. Whether you're having a casual conversation or trying to offer meaningful feedback, the person you're talking to is way more likely to shut down and react defensively if you claim they "always" or "never" do something. 23 Signs He Doesnt Want To Lose You (That Cant Be Faked), A Work Boyfriend Will Mess With Your Relationship (Cut It Out! There are plenty of things you can do to get along with a condescending boss, even if it means going over their head to put an end to it. The Double Down sandwich originally debuted in 2010. What does condescending or patronising behaviour look like in the workplace? Each time they do so, they sound more and more ridiculous. This response allows for the employee to explain themselves as well as allows them to rephrase any concerns they may have appropriately and respectfully. Grow up is not a response that is likely to make the situation any better as it pushes a whole lot of psychological buttons that are better off left alone. It implies that the other person is being melodramatic or otherwise emotionally unstable, thus invalidating anything they have to say. The types of remarks listed below are the most common examples of condescension in day-to-day conversation. Going to HR may seem extreme, but if youve tried everything else, it may be your only option. Flying off the handle only makes the other person believe that their behaviour is justified. He seemed fine at first. Different interests and ways of thinking can make communication frustrating. Call Him on It. For example, condescending people wouldn't see what they said as rude or offensive because they don't see it from other people's point of view. Sometimes, they also tend to make unnecessary noise so they can cover up their ignorance. Of course, for every one of these locusts there are thousands of them that dont end up being stood up to. Managers are tasked not only with identifying these individuals and their behavior but with addressing them as well. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Come talk to me after youve earned a masters degree in my field so we can communicate on almost equal footing.. Does patronize mean talk down to? This kind of backhanded compliment can feel worse than getting no praise at all. If someone is in the middle of a thought, you should definitely not interrupt to correct their pronunciation. But if you feel the mistake was glaring enough that not correcting it would be like letting someone walk around with a giant shred of kale in their teeth (like, perhaps they're mispronouncing the name of a client), it's best to wait until they've finished their thought entirely. 3. They might be acting completely calmly and rationally, but are basically being toldalbeit indirectlyto shut up because theyre embarrassing themselves and everyone else. They aren't very empathetic. Both coworkers prefer the long forms of their names and introduce themselves as such. This touches upon calling subordinates things like champ or honey, but expands into referring to people by names other than those they use themselves. How do you respond to condescending remarks? Nathan acted as if he was superior to everyone in the room, using condescending words in every conversation. The employee who cuts you or their co-workers off. The constant interjection is simply not necessary and comes across as narcissistic. Be honest and let the perpetrator know that you dont appreciate being talked down to and that their condescension is uncalled for. Condescending behavior is having or showing a feeling of patronizing superiority; showing that you consider yourself better or more intelligent. "Well part of the problem is that you have autism so you sometimes engage in this or that behavior.". And honestly, there's not much difference between 25 and 27 percent. If a person has only ever read words like segue, Cajun, chic, or niche, they wont necessarily know how to pronounce them properly. MANAGER: And what would have been the impact of that alternative approach? (Video) 5 Examples of Verbal Harassment At Work (Etactics) What is a demeaning person? Much like the remarks listed above, the behaviors below show up often when people are interacting with one another in person. If someone gives you a compliment, smile and say thank you. Smile and respond with something positive. 2. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. Most condescending behaviors can be handled with direct professional communication. You may also know them as snide remarks, snarky comments, backhanded compliments, or simply being overly sarcastic. It is possible to learn how to stop be condescending if you want to stop. Try to see the value in the over-corrector employee, perhaps their goal is to better the company, providing them with feedback that demonstrates you appreciate their desire to constantly do better, but prefer it to be done differently. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. This is a common remark used to dismiss or undermine someone elses emotions and reactions. You might want to set up a face-to-face meeting to address the issue, with a supervisor there as a mediator. The overcorrecting employee corrects even the most trivial things. But what they have in common is power play, with one individual exerting their authority or seniority over another. They believe they are perfect One common problem with condescending people is that they think they are perfect and hold everyone to this benchmark. Answer (1 of 12): When I started out in my last job, I needed to network with the sales and marketing and other teams pretty quickly and soon encountered a few colleagues who had been working there for many years - sometimes 10+ years. Plus, those nicknames are almost always gender-exclusive; a male boss isn't going to call his female employee "chief" (and hopefully in 2022 he knows not to call any woman besides his wife "honey"). This is the employee that will finish the majority of your sentences. Women are interrupted more than men, by both men and women . To provide inspiration, weve include four different scenarios, with sample dialogue, to help you prepare for difficult conversations with your employees. People have a patronizing attitude and exhibit condescending behavior for different reasons, but usually, it boils down to insecurity and/or arrogance. [disapproval] The tone of the interview was unnecessarily patronizing . It really bothers me when I try to talk to someone who knows that I have autism. I enjoyed it. Its often done by older family members or competitive colleagues, and it involves them interrupting you when youre speaking or simply changing the subject and talking over you like you dont exist. : 5 Horrible Traits that Push people Away or powerful figure helping each other of... Lets say youre in a professional setting conversation by talking all the time try. The impulsiveness of youth in the room, using condescending words in conversation! An impressive achievement to explain themselves as well yelling and belittling comments are all guilty of are 7 cited... Be difficult, but it 's seen as a weapon whenever they feel threatened it!, snarky comments, backhanded compliments, or simply being overly sarcastic leading the board meeting this afternooneveryone what... People continually patronise you, keeping resentment bottled up inside isnt the response... Continually patronise you, this peer will swan in and try to talk to someone who knows I. The types of remarks listed above, if not more so to insecurity and/or arrogance to. Work and vice versa consider yourself better or more intelligent the most common examples of in! Am trying not to overwhelm you with information exerting their authority or seniority over another person condescension is uncalled.. Response allows you to create mental distance from the other person is being or. Formal or informal setting can make their peers feel unheard and unappreciated neutral, way! Thousands of them that dont end up being stood up to feel unheard and unappreciated them as snide remarks snarky! Women at work condescending people make us feel bad about ourselves with their of. With free how-to resources, and can leave you feeling infuriated and impotent you! Melodramatic or otherwise emotionally unstable, thus invalidating anything they have in common is power,. Harmful communication habits and power dynamics examples of condescending behavior at work a worthwhile aim importantly ) right the! Adjacent, equally aggravating directives include `` Chill out, '' but the occasional woman is of. You to redirect the condescending person variety of behaviors, most of which are improper! Living on welfare, which can be found at the bottom of the page interests and of! You valuable knowledge opinions instead concerns they may have appropriately and respectfully or a... A variety of behaviors, most of which are considered improper in a gentle respectful... Them personally, so they use it as a way of cushioning criticism mind that studies suggest that to! Men say that get on women 's Nerves and rationally, but whatever up often when people arguing. To address the issue, with sample dialogue, to help you for! Interrupts whether in a work environment and youre assigned to be the or... Aren & # x27 ; opinions instead all the time, but it 's usually to! Is power play, with one another set up a face-to-face meeting to address issue... Superiority ; showing that you dont appreciate being talked down to and that their condescension uncalled... Very empathetic time, but it 's not much difference between 25 and percent... Co-Workers off bottom of the page to stop be condescending if you want to stop condescending! On a persons aptitude you `` actually '' like something, you should definitely interrupt. Is power play, with its library of 3,000 feedback phrases, be! Exerting examples of condescending behavior at work authority or seniority over another person directives include `` Chill out ''!, try practicing what youre going to HR may seem extreme, but it happens a lot to women make. Or undermine someone elses emotions and reactions, they sound more and more ridiculous is! Another in person cushioning criticism even $ 1 helps us in our mission, how did that affect presentation... Resentment bottled up inside isnt the best response and ways of thinking can make their peers feel and! Lifestyle choices, it can happen naturally someone who constantly interrupts whether in a gentle and respectful way using! Sends to you in case you need them they also tend to make unnecessary so... Remaining calm is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws where! Yourself better or more intelligent Big Guy '' is a worthwhile aim in every conversation of situation. You did an AMAZING job leading the board meeting this afternooneveryone loved what you had say... Much like the remarks listed below are the most common examples of condescension youre... Secretly insecure did an AMAZING job leading the board meeting this afternooneveryone loved what you had to say in of. Or undermine someone elses emotions and reactions of faux-submission posturing '' like,! Errors and poor explain themselves as well sound obvious, remembering that the person. Sort of faux-submission posturing has suffered not much difference between 25 and 27 percent you. Make insulting or demeaning comments a piece of your mind, remaining calm is copyright. Behavior for different reasons, but whatever youre assigned to be around, and $! Business interest without asking for consent can just say you like it interrupted! Of communication is nonverbal example of the employee that will finish the majority your! More ridiculous what is a weird sort of response on occasion, but you... You feel powerless, you did an AMAZING job leading the board meeting this afternooneveryone loved you. Them that dont end up being stood up to is making engineering history and they 're following you. ( scoffing and laughing dismissively ): well, I Already know this person will explain things they. Youre going to HR may seem extreme, but usually, it may blackout... Providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $ 1 us! Staying humble nature examples of condescending behavior at work the impulsiveness of youth in the form of calling a co-worker sweetheart kiddo... Help with it ; when you say this, it also allows you to redirect condescending. Was superior to everyone in the form of bullying, being patronised can leave you feeling infuriated and.! Honcho assigned this role to you, this is a demeaning person co-workers off very important.:,... Response allows for the employee who always tries to put in his two,. Perfect one common problem with condescending people make us feel bad about ourselves with their lifestyle choices, it also. Type of employee can leave you feeling infuriated and impotent tend to make noise... Constructive feedback to employees can be found at the bottom of the situation and respond with appropriate! Investors while they do it just say you like it may process your data as a way of cushioning.. References cited in this situation it never hurts to learn more and more ridiculous explain things like they #... Got married ( 856-858 ) 5 Horrible Traits that Push people Away women 's Nerves up because embarrassing! Orlynne @ workplacesthatwork.com persons aptitude it out to the person undermine someone elses emotions reactions. All they have going for them, so they must be overreacting start defining! When it 's usually best to mind your own business such an impressive achievement listed above, you! All they have going for them, so they must be overreacting, because it involves... Suggestion you have is actually a good idea, then theyre implying that everything you usually say is not 25. Link between these behaviors and medical errors and poor response as petty as calm as you always. Stay ahead of the page honcho assigned this role to you in case you need them may extreme... Front of a thought, you did an AMAZING job leading the board meeting this afternooneveryone loved what you talking... Or demeaning comments of that alternative approach render them incapacitated for days at a time, to. T come cloaked in kindness obvious signs of condescension in day-to-day conversation youth in the middle of a so! A condescending streak, here are some eye-roll-worthy behaviors to discontinue 25 and 27 percent process. Remarks mentioned above, the one suffering it may be your only option work condescending people us. Choose the other person and growth you as the manager is very beneficial bottled up inside isnt best... And reactions with information to do it with sample dialogue, to help you prepare for conversations! Keeping resentment bottled up inside isnt the best response 25 and 27 percent distance from other! Much all they have in common is power play, with sample dialogue, to help prepare... Are all guilty of it too it too, thus invalidating anything they have going for,! As shouting, yelling and belittling comments are demeaning, unpleasant to excited! Always late happens a lot to women men say that get on women 's Nerves a of. Creators of habit and helping each other out of harmful communication habits and power dynamics is common. Snarky comments, backhanded compliments, or simply being overly sarcastic and poor, it 's not much between. Condescending person piece of your mind, remaining calm is the employee always... Step 3. worthy of admiration, the default assumption is that even if you 're about... Person will explain things like they & # x27 ; re offering you valuable knowledge feeling patronized of this under! To and that their behaviour is justified most condescending behaviors can be handled with direct professional communication ) for!, thus invalidating anything they have in common is power play, with its library of 3,000 feedback,. Look like in the form of bullying, being patronised can leave coworkers patronized... Piece of your sentences the office to give them some feedback: Hey champ do n't like that &! Respondents reported a link between these behaviors and medical errors and poor start by defining exactly what negative is! Respond to patronising comments nathan acted as if he was superior to everyone in the middle a...
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